


A Little Knowledge

by rusty_armour



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-29
Updated: 2009-11-29
Packaged: 2017-10-04 00:10:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rusty_armour/pseuds/rusty_armour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a small town experiences a high number of domestic incidents for no apparent reason, Doggett and Reyes investigate and end up dealing with problems of their own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Knowledge

"So because the rate of domestic violence has risen in Nede, Pennsylvania, Mulder thinks this is an X-File?"

"You have to admit that the numbers are pretty high, John, not to mention the fact that all of these reports were filed on the same night."

"Hell, back when I was on the force, this kind of thing happened all the time. You'd have these really quiet nights when you'd wonder if you were even in New York then, suddenly, all of this crap would pile up in the space of an hour. And you should have seen the kind of stuff that went down when there was a full moon. It...it would have made even Mulder's hair stand on end."

"I'm sure what you're saying is true, but we're talking about a town with only about 900 inhabitants, not New York City, and there was no full moon on Friday night."

"Hmm."

"Don't you think 52 reported incidents of domestic violence is a bit high for a place like Nede?"

"I guess." Doggett took a sip of his coffee, managing not to spill any on his shirt as Agent Reyes swerved sharply to the right to avoid a black cat that had run onto the road.

"Ah, you're just grumpy because I dragged you out of bed on a Sunday morning," said Reyes.

"You'd better believe it," grumbled Doggett. He looked over at Reyes' smiling face and grimaced. "God, how is it that you manage to be so damn perky in the morning? I shudder to think how many cups of coffee you must have had to get that way."

"I haven't had any," Reyes blurted out.

Her partner stared at her long and hard. "That in itself must be an X-File."

"Or the fact that you're on your third cup and it seems to have made no difference at all," said Reyes.

"Well, maybe if I smoked a few cigarettes on top of that I'd - "

"I've had two this morning: _two_."

"Yeah, and one of them was at my house. The place is going to stink for days."

"I opened a window!"

"Fat lot of good that will do."

"I've been trying to cut down. I really have."

"Oh, is that why your hands are shaking?"

"They are not! God, what is it with you today? I'd swear you were going out of your way to piss me off! It's a beautiful sunny day, so shut your trap and enjoy it for once, dammit!"

Doggett's mouth fell open, and for a full minute he was at a loss for a comeback. "So I take it that you're channelling the Wicked Witch of the West and not Maria Von Trapp."

"I'm not channeling Fox Mulder either, John. If you have a problem with this case, you should take it up with him. I was just the messenger, remember?"

"I'm sorry," said Doggett after a long uncomfortable pause.

Reyes smiled. "That's okay. Buy me breakfast and you're forgiven."

  


* * * * 

  
"If I talk to one more person from Nede, I think I'll be forced to commit an act of violence myself," said Doggett as he and his partner walked quickly out of the town church."

"I'll admit they're a little..."

"Nuts?"

"Different."

"One of those church committee ladies was coming on to me!" said Doggett.

"No, three of them were coming on to you," answered Reyes.

"I was trying to be modest."

"No, you were trying to cover your embarrassment." Reyes ducked as Doggett pretended to take a swipe at her head.

"So, in the seven or eight hours that we've been here, have we accomplished anything?" asked Doggett as they reached the car.

"Yes, I think we've accomplished a few things."

"Such as...?"

"Well, all of these incidents involve married couples."

"Most incidents of domestic violence involve married couples, yes."

"Or common law spouses."

"In Nede, Pennsylvania?"

"We also know from a few eye witness accounts that the people in question appeared to be fine before they started fighting. In fact, many of them were acting very...friendly toward each other."

"They were frisky?"

"They were in the throes of passion."

Doggett laughed loudly. "In the throes of passion?" he scoffed. "And we chose Niagara Falls as the honeymoon capital of the world. It has nothing on this place. Okay, so they were in 'the throes of passion' and then things turned sour. Do we have any idea why?"

"No, but I think there's some force at work here."

"Force?" Doggett paused, his hand on the car door. "I'm thinking drug cult myself."

"In the sleepy town of Nede?"

"Exactly. It would be the perfect set up." Doggett opened the car door and climbed into the driver's seat.

"I'm not picking up any negative energy," said Reyes, reaching for her seatbelt.

Doggett rolled his eyes. "Okay, so you don't think it's a drug cult, but these people have to have something in common."

"Oh, they do. They all went to the Nede Annual Fair on Friday night."

Doggett lifted an eyebrow. "The Nede Annual Fair? Oh, well, that explains everything. The excitement must have got to them, driven them out of their minds. Do you know how much sugar is in the average spool of cotton candy?"

"Look, I know it sounds crazy, but right now it's the only thing we have to go on. Mrs. Beatty, the woman in charge of the ladies square dancing society and the quilting bee - Stop it!" Reyes slapped Doggett on the arm as he began to laugh. "Mrs. Beatty gave me the name and address of the president of the Nede Annual Fair Committee. Her name is Ava Green. I thought if we spoke to her, she might be able to shed some light on these...incidents."

"And what does Ava Green do when she isn't acting as president of the Nede Annual Fair Committee?" asked Doggett, trying to keep a straight face.

"She bakes the best apple pies and fritters this side of Pennsylvania."

Doggett leaned his head on the stirring wheel, his shoulders shaking.

Reyes sighed. "Maybe I should drive."

  


* * * * 

  
"I'm not really sure if I can help you folks, but I'll try."

"We'd appreciate that, Mrs. Green," said Reyes, sitting down on the couch across from their hostess' armchair. Doggett sat down beside Reyes, extracting his notebook from his jacket pocket. He began to scribble something down, and Reyes wondered if he had observed something during the short period of time they had been in Mrs. Green's home, or had suddenly had an important breakthrough. Then she glanced down at his notebook: he was writing out his grocery list.

Fighting the urge to throttle her partner, Reyes beamed a quick smile at Mrs. Green, who was watching both agents patiently.

Mrs. Green seemed like a good, honest woman. Reyes hadn't sensed anything from the woman that was disturbing. In fact, Mrs. Green seemed to emanate calmness and serenity. With her tight silver curls and pink-rimmed glasses, she looked like someone's sweet little grandmother. She probably was someone's sweet little grandmother.

"Mrs. Green, did you notice anything out of the ordinary on Friday night?" asked Reyes. "Was anyone acting strangely?"

"More strangely than usual?" added Doggett in an undertone.

"Why, no, I don't think so," answered Mrs. Green, who hadn't heard Doggett's comment. "Of course, I was pretty busy at the time. I kept checking all the booths to make sure everyone had what they needed. I was also helping with the raffle and the bake sale."

"Selling your apple pies?" said Doggett, looking up from his notebook.

Mrs. Green smiled almost shyly. "You've heard of my pies then, Agent...?"

"Doggett. And, yes, I heard they were the best pies this side of Pennsylvania."

Reyes kicked Doggett's ankle and Mrs. Green blushed.

"That's very kind of you to say. Very kind. Unfortunately, this year I had a bad batch of apples. They didn't taste nearly as good as they have in the past. I didn't think it was fair to charge money for them, even though the proceeds from the bake sale go to the church...In the end, I gave them to the Social Committee to use for the pie eating contest."

"Pie eating contest...?" asked Doggett, ignoring the warning glance Reyes shot at him. "Oh, well, I'm sorry to hear that, Mrs. Green, though in my experience cooks are always their own worst critics."

"Oh, that's what you think, is it? Well, I'll just go and fetch one of this year's pies from the pantry and let you be the judge." Mrs. Green rose from her chair and headed out of the living room. Doggett grinned and placed his notebook back in his pocket. He looked up to find Reyes glaring at him.

"What?" he said, feigning innocence.

"I knew skipping lunch was a bad idea," replied Reyes.

"And I think somebody skipped their last cigarette break."

"Yes, I did skip it because I'm trying to cut down."

"I thought you were trying to quit."

"I am. I'm working up to it gradually."

"Cold turkey. It's the only way to do it, Monica."

"Do you know how hard that is?"

"Yes, I've done it."

"You smoked?"

"Yes. You seem surprised."

"Sorry...I didn't realize smoking was included among your list of vices."

Doggett frowned. "There's a list?"

"Yes."

Doggett looked perturbed. "What's on it?"

"Well, I'd say conning little old ladies into giving you apple pie would be near the top - Oh, Mrs. Green, let me help you with that." Reyes stood and relieved Mrs. Green of a tray with three cups of coffee, cream, sugar, two plates, two sets of cutlery, and the best apple pie that side of Pennsylvania. Reyes set the tray down on the table in front of the couch. Doggett wasted no time in helping himself to a slice of pie.

"Mrs. Green, can you think of any reason why there should suddenly be so many incidents of domestic violence in Nede and why they would all occur on the night of the fair?"

"I wish I knew, Agent Reyes, I truly do. Why, this morning in church Reverend Hopper said - "

"This is the best pie I've ever tasted!" exclaimed Doggett.

"No, Agent Doggett, I don't think that's what he said," growled Reyes.

"Oh...uh...sorry. It's the still the best pie I've ever tasted, though."

"Ah, you're just saying that," said Mrs. Green, smiling.

"No, I'm not! It really is!"

"Oh, hush. What would your poor mother say?"

"She'd probably agree with me. If she didn't it would be the second best pie I've ever tasted." He looked at Reyes, who was trying to calm her inner spirit. "Agent Reyes, you've got to try some of this pie."

"Maybe later. At the moment, I'm trying to focus on this case."

"Screw the case," said Doggett. "It's Sunday for cryin' out loud. Eat some damn pie!" Reyes cleared her throat and glanced quickly at Mrs. Green. "Oh. Sorry, Mrs. Green."

"That's quite all right, Agent Doggett. I've been known to say a few choice words myself on a Sunday. Why, only this morning - "

"Mmmm! This pie's delicious!" cried Reyes, her mouth full of apple and flaky crust.

  


* * * * 

  
"I can't believe we ate the whole thing," moaned Reyes as they walked to the car.

"Yeah, who knew you could pack it away like that? I guess you really are trying to quit. Your appetite's returning." Doggett waited for the retort, but Reyes was patting her stomach in concern.

"I never even thought of that..." Reyes quickly fumbled in her blazer pocket for her pack of cigarettes.

"Oh, no you don't," said Doggett, reaching for her hand.

"I just need one. Just let me have one."

Doggett grabbed her arm and attempted to wrestle the pack from her. "No!"

Reyes tried to pull away and found herself backing up against the side of the car. For an instant they were only inches apart. Reyes could feel Doggett's breath against her cheek. Then Doggett stepped back, releasing his grip on her arm.

"I'll be in the car," said Doggett quietly. "We'll drive back to the motel when you're done.

"Okay."

Doggett walked around to the driver's side and unlocked the door. Reyes expected to hear it slam, but he closed it almost gently. Reyes' hand shook as she pulled a cigarette from the pack. She managed to light it on the second try and took a deep drawl.

What the hell had just happened? And why was it that when Doggett had released her arm, she had wanted to beg him not to let it go? Had she really sensed what she thought she had sensed from him?

It was nicotine withdrawal. It had to be. She puffed harder and waited until the cigarette was almost too tiny to hold before she ground it under her shoe. Then she turned to open the car door. Doggett was staring at her.

She looked down quickly at her blazer to make sure there was no cigarette ash on the fabric or a wisp of smoke billowing from her chest. She had never managed to set herself on fire before, but there was a first time for everything.

When Reyes lifted her eyes again Doggett was no longer looking at her, but drumming the steering wheel with his fingers. She opened the door and slid into the passenger seat.

"Back to the motel?" asked Reyes.

"Back to the motel," answered Doggett. He turned the key in the ignition, and Reyes closed her eyes. The only thing she was sensing from him now was irritation. She must have imagined it then. The idea of John Doggett having feelings for her that even remotely resembled desire was ridiculous.

"Have you done something to your hair?"

Reyes jumped. "What?"

"Have you done something to you hair?" repeated Doggett. "It looks... different."

"I went to the hairdresser yesterday afternoon," ventured Reyes. "I was feeling kind of adventurous, so I told Sylvie to cut off an inch instead of half an inch." She fingered her hair nervously as if she was suddenly questioning her decision.

"I like it," said Doggett, briefly flicking his eyes from the road to her face. "It's pretty."

"Why...uh...thank you." Reyes could feel her cheeks burning and her heart had started beating wildly. He had noticed her hair! How often did any man, let alone John Doggett, notice a woman's new haircut? The odds against such an event occurring were practically astronomical and, yet, John had noticed her hair!

Reyes stole a glance at Doggett. His jaw was set and his eyes were fixed firmly on the road. Suddenly she wanted that intense gaze to be fixed on her. She had always found his eyes startling. They held so many layers of emotion, each subtle variation of blue representing some inner part of him...

"You have the biggest bluest eyes I have ever seen," Reyes blurted out.

Doggett's foot hit the break. Fortunately, there were no cars behind them. He pulled over to the side of the road. "What did you say?" he croaked.

"You heard me."

Doggett shook his head. "No. I think I must have been hearing things."

Reyes ran a finger lightly across his cheekbone. "Were you?"

"Monica, are you coming on to me?" asked Doggett hoarsely.

"I could ask you the same question."

"I...don't know. It's been so long since I've tried to come on to anybody that I'm not even sure if I know how to anymore."

"Everything seems fine from where I'm sitting, John."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah."

They stared at each other for a long moment then Doggett leaned forward and kissed Reyes gently on the lips.

"Now that was better than 'fine,'" murmured Reyes with a smile. She lay her hand on the back of Doggett's head, her fingers playing with his hair.

They kissed again, more eagerly this time, their tongues almost meeting...

Doggett pulled away from Reyes abruptly. She stared at him in surprise and curiosity. His eyes were wide. He looked horrified.

"What the hell's going on here?" gasped Doggett.

"Now, come on, John, I know you might be a little out of practice, but - "

"We're partners. This...this isn't supposed to be happening! It isn't right. You must see that."

"I...I guess."

"It's this town. It's doing something to us. It's affecting our behaviour."

"And you say Mulder's paranoid," mumbled Reyes.

Doggett glared at her. "Why is it that today we suddenly can't keep our hands off each other, when we've managed to work together before without the faintest hint of attraction?"

_Speak for yourself_, thought Reyes.

"This kind of thing doesn't just happen in the blink of an eye, Monica."

"Doesn't it?" Reyes laid a hand on Doggett's thigh.

Thirty seconds later the car was in motion again. "When we get to the motel, I'll grab our stuff while you check us out, okay?" said Doggett.

Reyes frowned but nodded.

The car screeched into the Nede Motor Inn parking lot, hurtling into the nearest available spot. The driver leapt out as soon as the key was out of the ignition and he was free of his seat belt. The passenger emerging from the vehicle moved more slowly, blinking as bright rays from the setting sun hit her in the face.

Agent Doggett had started sprinting towards the motel. Reyes calmly pulled out her pack of cigarettes and extracted one from the box.

"What are you doing?" yelled Doggett. "We don't have time for that!"

_The hell we don't_, thought Reyes. She placed a cigarette between her lips and reached for the lighter. It was in her hand when Doggett snatched it from her and yanked the cigarette from her mouth.

"What is your problem?" demanded Doggett.

"What is _my_ problem? You're the one running around like a madman. I think _you're_ the one with the problem."

"We're infected by something, something that is causing us to act irrationally."

Reyes rolled her eyes. "You're the one being irrational. I feel perfectly fine."

Doggett grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. "Dammit, Monica, why are you so..." He trailed off, staring into her dark, bewildered eyes. "Beautiful..."

Suddenly Doggett was kissing Reyes passionately, relentlessly. Reyes ran her fingers through Doggett's hair, her lips responding enthusiastically. When they finally broke apart, both agents were gasping for air.

"Thadda boy," said Reyes.

  


* * * * 

  
"Coming through!" The hotel clerk looked up from his comic book in astonishment. A man in a suit had burst through the front door carrying a woman in a charcoal blazer and skirt.

"Is she hurt? Should I call the hospital?" asked the clerk in concern.

"She's not hurt," said the man.

"Not yet anyway," purred the woman with a feral smirk. The clerk gulped.

"Room 11," said the man.

"What?"

"The key. Room 11," repeated the man impatiently.

The clerk searched for the key, watching the strange pair from the corner of his eye.

"Hurry!" barked the man. "This ain't no Sunday picnic!"

"Yes, sir!" yelped the clerk. He produced the key quickly and handed the man a message on a yellow sticky note. "Mr. Mulder just called. He said it was important."

"Screw Mulder," growled the man.

"No, screw me," whispered the woman. She snatched the key from the clerk's hand, and the man took off down the hall.

It took a couple of minutes to open the door. Reyes had started nibbling on Doggett's ear and found it challenging to fit the key in the lock at the same time.

"Monica, honey, as beautiful and skillful as you are, you're no featherweight. I'm going to end up dropping you soon if you don't hurry up."

Reyes sighed and pushed the key in the lock.

The door handle was a bit of a struggle as it was rusting and Reyes wasn't in the best position to tackle it. In the end Doggett kicked the door open and stumbled into the room, dumping Reyes unceremoniously on the bed. Reyes grabbed him by the tie and pulled him down on top of her.

Doggett began nuzzling his partner's neck. Reyes kept concentrating on his tie, unravelling the knot and freeing it from his collar.

"We really shouldn't be doing this," said Doggett gruffly as Reyes started unbuttoning his shirt.

"No, we shouldn't, John," Reyes agreed as she reached the last button. The two agents eyed each other for a moment. They both looked down at the button. Then Doggett himself popped it out of the hole and removed his shirt.

_Now_, thought Reyes, _if he would only get rid of his undershirt too..._

Doggett pulled the offending object off and flung it across the room, his hungry eyes never leaving Reyes.

_Please don't be gentle with me_, thought Reyes, as he dove down to her breasts.

  


* * * * 

  
"You still can't reach them?" said Mulder.

Scully shook her head. "No, I can't get through to either of them. I think they've turned off their cell phones, which doesn't sound like them at all, Mulder."

Mulder's hands tightened on the steering wheel. It was 10:47 pm and Mulder's black car was tearing down Junction #6 towards the Nede Motor Inn.

Mulder had been a little concerned when he hadn't been able to reach either Doggett or Reyes. Then Scully had received the medical reports from the hospital. They had found a mysterious compound in the couples they had tested, which they believed could have contributed to the high number of domestic incidents. The serotonin levels had been alarmingly low and the testosterone levels surprisingly high. Scully had suggested that they perform a CAT scan on some of the couples to determine if any areas of the limbic system had been affected, such as the amygdala. The amygdala, she had explained to Mulder, was the part of the limbic system that controlled anger and aggression. Mulder had simply nodded, his concern for Doggett and Reyes going up a notch.

When Mulder still couldn't contact Doggett or Reyes two hours later, he had decided to go to Nede, and Scully had insisted on going with him. Her mother was staying with her and could look after William. She had argued that even if Doggett and Reyes weren't in trouble, she wouldn't mind examining the medical evidence more closely. She had spoken as if the trip was just a matter of satisfying her own scientific curiosity more than anything else, but Mulder knew better.

"Scully, is it a right turn or a left turn at the next intersection?" asked Mulder.

Scully glanced down at the map quickly. "Left," she answered.

"Ah, here we are," stated Mulder as he spotted the large sign several feet away. "Nede, Pennsylvania. We should be at the motel in about two minutes."

"Do you really think they're there?"

"I don't know. It would make things a helluva lot easier if they were, wouldn't it?"

  


* * * * 

  
Mulder and Scully found a small crowd gathered by the reception desk when they walked into the Nede Motor Inn. The majority of the people were wearing pyjamas and housecoats. A flustered looking clerk was on the phone.

"Excuse me but is there a problem here?" Scully asked an older woman with a pink flannel nightgown and curlers in her hair.

"Yeah, I'll say. This couple is fighting."

"Loudly," added the balding man beside her.

"They've both been screamin' and yellin' at the top of their lungs."

"And throwing things," said another woman in plaid pyjamas. "I'm sure I heard a lamp break or something crash against the wall. I'm in the room beside theirs, unfortunately."

Scully looked at Mulder, who seemed faintly amused. "Uh...maybe we should..." She waved a hand at the stressed clerk, and Mulder nodded. They walked over to the desk.

"Oh, hi," mumbled the clerk, who was still clutching the phone as if it were a life preserver.

"We understand that you've been having problems with two of your guests, sir," said Scully.

"You aren't from the Sheriff's Department by any chance, are you?" asked the clerk, his voice sounding almost hopeful.

"No, but I'm a Federal agent."

The clerk put down the receiver. "I've been trying to reach the Sheriff's Department for the last 20 minutes, but I haven't been able to get through," confided the clerk to Scully. "I don't suppose you could...uh..."

"We'll get right on it, sir."

"Thanks," said the clerk, sounding vastly relieved. "Room 11 is just down that hall. If you need anything just dial zero."

"We'll do that," said Scully. She placed a hand on Mulder's elbow and they both hurried down the hall.

They would have been able to find the room even if they didn't know the number. They could hear shouting from several feet away.

When they reached Room 11, Mulder knocked loudly on the door. There was no answer, only raised voices.

"Federal agent!" yelled Scully through the door. "Open up!"

The room suddenly went quiet. There was a brief pause and then the door opened.

A pair of angry blue eyes glared at them from across the threshold. A man was standing in the doorway wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and an undershirt.

"Agent Doggett?" exclaimed Mulder and Scully in disbelief.

"What the hell do you want?"

  


* * * * 

  
Mulder and Scully gaped at Doggett for several seconds.

Doggett crossed his arms. "Well?" he demanded.

"Agent Doggett, were you the one doing all the yelling?" asked Mulder.

"No, I wasn't doing all the yelling."

"HA!" came a sharp retort from inside the room.

"I only did about a third of the yelling," snapped Doggett over his shoulder. "Agent Reyes did the rest."

"Oh, sure, blame me! You blame me for everything else!"

"If the shoe fits, lady - Hey, do you mind?" Doggett glared at Mulder and Scully as they pushed their way past him.

"Oh my God," said Scully. The room looked like it had been hit by a storm. The lamp the woman in the plaid pyjamas had thought she had heard crashing against the wall, lay on the floor in pieces. There were also two broken wine bottles, two toppled wooden chairs, a duvet and several articles of clothing strewn across the room. Reyes was stretched out on the bed, smoking a cigarette and wearing what could only be her partner's shirt.

"Oh my God," repeated Scully.

"Ah, Jesus Christ, Monica!" shouted Doggett. "I told you not to light up in here! First you stink up my house and now my motel room!"

"I'm surprised you could smell it. With those gigantic ears of yours, I would have thought your hearing would have dominated the other four senses, Dumbo!"

"Ouch!" said Mulder in sympathy.

"Dumbo?" hissed Doggett. "Dumbo!"

"If the shoe fits - " began Reyes.

"At least what I see, smell and _hear_ is real and not imaginary."

"Oh, I don't know. You seem to have imagined that you're better than everyone else."

"If we're talking about you, I don't have to imagine anything. I _know_ I'm better!"

"I'm sorry. I was wrong about your ears. It's your head that's gigantic!"

"This coming from the woman who has enough empty space in her head to fill the Grand Canyon?" snarled Doggett.

"Dumbo!"

"Flake!"

"Timeout!" screamed Scully. Doggett and Reyes stared at the red-haired woman as if it had just occurred to them that she was in the room. "You've both been exposed to some kind of contagion, an unexplained chemical compound. It has affected certain areas of the limbic system, probably the prefrontal cortex and possibly the amygdala."

Doggett and Reyes looked confused.

"Some bug got into your systems and messed with your brains," translated Mulder.

"So you're saying there's something wrong with us," said Doggett.

"Yes, I think there's something wrong with you," answered Scully wearily.

"Hey, you hear that, Monica? I was right. I knew we had to get out of this town."

"Go to hell!" spat Reyes.

"Children," warned Mulder, trying not to smile.

"Mulder, I think we'd better take them to the hospital," said Scully. "We still can't be sure what the full effects of this compound might be."

"I think we've pretty much seen the full effects of the compound, Scully!"

"Still, I think we should get the hospital to run some tests. Agent Doggett, do you have any idea what could have...?" Scully trailed off when she saw that Doggett wasn't listening to her. He was staring at Reyes, who appeared to be looking for an ashtray.

Doggett, Scully and Mulder watched in fascination as she looked around the room. Finally, her eyes caught a glimpse of one of Doggett's black shoes. She leaned over the side of the bed and stubbed her cigarette against the sole.

"That," growled Doggett, "_was_ my second best pair of shoes, you black-lunged, nicotine-dependent bitch."

"Oh, crap!" cried Mulder as Doggett took off across the room. Reyes screamed as Doggett leapt onto the mattress. Mulder grabbed Doggett around the waist and managed to pull him down.

"Let go of me!" shouted Doggett as Mulder continued to drag him away from the bed.

"Scully, get her out of here!" cried Mulder.

Scully ran to the bed. "Agent Reyes, let's go back to your room," she said gently, taking Reyes' arm.

"We can't; I haven't got my key," answered Reyes, who rose from the mattress all the same.

"That's okay. We'll get it from the front desk." Scully guided Reyes around the broken glass and past Mulder and Doggett, who were wrestling on the floor.

"New Age bimbo!" croaked Doggett from a headlock.

"Dumbo!"

"Trailer trash psychic!"

"Backwoods hick!"

"I ain't no hick!" hollered Doggett, managing to break free from Mulder's grasp.

"Hey, Doggett," said Mulder.

"What?"

A fist smashed into Doggett's face.

"Mulder hit John," said Reyes in wonder as Scully pushed her out the door.

"Yes, he did."

"You're a doctor. Shouldn't you do something?"

"I'll check on him later. Right now I'm more concerned about you, Agent Reyes."

"Me? Why? I feel fine." Scully took in Reyes' messy hair and wide pupils. Her eyes lingered longest on Doggett's shirt.

"I hate to say it, but I think this may be something you'll regret in the morning."

  


* * * * 

  
"Somebody hit me," groaned Doggett, opening his eyes. He saw a large blurry shape looming over him. He blinked a few times and the indistinct shape became a face. "You hit me."

"Yes, that was me, Agent Doggett," said Mulder, applying some ice in a towel to Doggett's eye.

"Why'd you do that?" demanded Doggett, grimacing as he slowly sat up.

"To try to prevent you and Agent Reyes from killing each other," replied Mulder, helping Doggett to his feet. "Come on, let's sit you down on the bed." Mulder navigated them both through the mess on the floor. Then they both plopped down on the edge of the mattress and studied the room in disbelief.

"This isn't good, is it?" asked Doggett.

"No, it isn't, Agent Doggett."

Doggett nodded glumly. Both men stared at the mess on the floor again.

"So...you slept with Agent Reyes."

Doggett shut his eyes and exhaled sharply. "Yes," he said. Then he opened his eyes cautiously.

Mulder slapped him on the back and grinned like a teenager. "Now I know where they got the 'Dog' in 'Doggett'! You dog, you!"

  


* * * * 

  
Although Dana Scully didn't possess any empathic abilities to speak of, she had a feeling Agent Reyes wasn't doing too well. When she had returned to Reyes' room at 2:14 am with some Rocky Road ice cream, she had found the woman hiding under the duvet on the bed.

Scully had tried unsuccessfully to coax the other agent out of hiding, but Reyes had declared that she was never going to show her face again.

"You can't stay under there forever," argued Scully.

"Wanna bet?"

"Look, I know things seem bad right now - "

"I slept with John Doggett!" wailed the voice under the duvet. "Things couldn't get any worse!"

"Well, there you go," replied Scully, forcing herself to sound cheerful. "You can only go up from here."

A bitter laugh came from under the duvet. "What are you trying to do, Dana? Audition for the role of Pollyanna?"

Scully gritted her teeth. "I was trying to think what you would say if our roles were reversed."

"If our roles were reversed, Mulder wouldn't have just punched Agent Doggett: he would have put him in traction!"

"Oh, I don't know about that...Do you really think so?"

"God, Dana, I slept with John! What am I going to do?"

"You could talk to him," suggested Scully.

"Are you crazy? I can't face him right now. I'm not sure if I can ever face him again..."

"He's your partner. It's going to be pretty hard to avoid him."

"I'll...I'll get a transfer, see if I can go back to the New Orleans office."

"You'd run away?"

"If it meant sparing us both the humiliation of facing each other again, yes!"

"You're both adults. You can get past this."

"How? By denying it ever happened?" Reyes groaned. "Dana, he hasn't been divorced all that long. Not really. For all I know he's still in love with his wife!"

"Ex-wife," corrected Scully. "And if anyone would know, I thought it would be you. Were they planning to reconcile?"

"I don't know...No, I don't think so."

"Then maybe this wasn't such a bad thing."

"What?" The duvet flew off, and Scully found herself looking into Reyes' red eyes.

"Maybe it's time he moved on," said Scully. "All work and no play makes Jack - "

"No. Oh, no. We hardly ever see eye to eye on anything. He makes fun of my beliefs and won't open up to new possibilities, despite everything he has seen and experienced. He...he thinks I'm a flake," concluded Reyes, blushing.

"And yet he called you in when we were looking for Mulder, trusted you to keep me safe when I had to go into hiding, chose you when he needed a new partner. Doesn't sound like 'flake' material to me, Agent Reyes." Scully squeezed Reyes' shoulder, managing to coax a tiny smile from the other agent. Then there was a knock on the door.

Reyes' eyes widened in panic. "Don't let him in! Don't let him in!" she hissed, throwing the duvet back over her head.

Scully stared at the form under the covers in disbelief and walked towards the door. "Hi, Mulder," she said loudly.

"Hi, Scully," replied Mulder, also speaking loudly.

Scully pointed silently to the figure hiding under the duvet.

"Oh," mouthed Mulder. "I'm glad to see that things are going just as well in the women's camp as the men's camp," he spoke aloud.

"Agent Doggett isn't hiding under the covers too, is he?"

"No, but he asked me to hit him again - a few times - and wanted my advice on how to write a good letter of resignation."

"He's talking about resigning?" asked Scully with a laugh. "Well, he's one step ahead of Agent Reyes. She's only talking about transferring."

"I guess Agent Doggett doesn't believe in doing anything by half measures, does he? Damn. I knew I shouldn't have left him alone with that mini bar."

"Mulder..."

"When I left his room, he was trying to break into the mini bar. I think he might do it too."

"Sixty Seconds Jack," muttered Scully, remembering Doggett's claim to hotwiring fame during the Jesus slug case.

"Scully, don't you think the poor man's been insulted enough already?"

Scully snapped out of the memory. "What?"

"I don't know what Reyes has been telling you," whispered Mulder, "but timing his performance like that - "

"Mulder!" Scully swatted Mulder's arm. "I was referring to his hotwiring abilities, you moron!"

"His hotwiring - What?"

"Never mind."

"No, I want to know."

"Maybe later. Right now I'm going to go check on Sixty Seconds Jack."

"You just want to see if he broke into the mini bar or not."

"That's right. Look after Agent Reyes for me."

"As if I wouldn't."

"Be nice, Mulder."

Mulder spread his hands placatingly. "Scully..."

"I'll be back soon."

"Smelling of booze no doubt," quipped Mulder as Scully went out the door. After closing it behind her, Mulder walked over to the bed. "So you slept with Agent Doggett," he said.

  


* * * * 

  
She had managed to avoid him for three days. She had debated calling in sick and then hadn't seen much point: he'd know she was lying. In the end, she just hadn't gone in at all. He hadn't questioned it.

Scully had called her every day, trying to convince her to face Doggett, to get it over with so they could both move on. She had refused.

Finally, Scully had shown up at her apartment, with William in tow, and had informed Reyes that if she wasn't going to go to work, she could at least do something productive with her time: go shopping.

Scully had happily spent about $200 on clothes while Reyes watched William, but Reyes hadn't been tempted to buy anything. Then she saw it sitting all alone in the toy store. Scully had laughed and talked her into buying it. Reyes had done so and was now regretting the purchase, especially as she had left it on Doggett's porch with a note she had written.

For the past hour, she had been feeling increasingly nauseous. She glanced at the clock again. It was almost 7:30. If he was keeping anything resembling regular hours for once, he might already be home by now. He might have seen it...

The buzzer sounded and Reyes leapt to her feet in panic.

"Yes?" she asked nervously, speaking into the intercom.

"It's Dumbo."

"Oh, sh - Come on up, John." Reyes paced the room for a few moments, biting her thumbnail. She reached for the pack of cigarettes on the table and just managed to stop herself from lighting one. She stuffed the cigarette back in the box and threw the pack behind her couch.

There was a knock on the door. Reyes took a deep breath and opened it.

Dumbo the elephant was peeking at her from around the door-frame, his trunk vibrating slightly as he danced up and down.

"Please come in...Dumbo. You can invite your friend in too if you'd like."

Doggett's head popped out. "Hey, how did she find out I was here? Did you give me away?" he asked the stuffed animal. Reyes smiled despite herself and just managed to meet his eyes. There was a bruise around one. Mulder's punch, she gathered. She stepped back, and Doggett shuffled into the apartment.

"I...uh...got your note and uh..." Doggett rattled the stuffed animal in the air. He directed a quick glance in her direction. "It was nice of you to rescue him from that lonely life in the store."

Reyes shrugged. "It was Dana's idea."

"Really? Well, you still provided him with a new home."

"I thought he'd like a house more than an apartment."

"More room to fly?"

"Something like that...Can I get you something? Some...um...coffee?"

"Sure." Doggett sat down on the couch with Dumbo, and Reyes retreated into her kitchenette.

"Mulder called me this morning," said Doggett.

"Oh?"

"One of the doctors called him from the hospital. They know where that mysterious compound came from..."

Reyes froze and the spoon with the ground coffee beans hovered above the filter.

"Where?" she asked cautiously.

"Well, you're not going to believe this but Mrs. Green's apples."

"What?"

"Mulder worked it out a couple of days ago. He had me list everything I could remember us being exposed to after we arrived in Nede. The apple pie was the common denominator."

"But Mrs. Green wouldn't have...I didn't sense - "

"She didn't know. That mysterious compound they found in everyone's bloodstream was present in an apple they analyzed at the lab. They think the soil in the orchard must be contaminated, and that this compound leached into the bark of the trees. They'll know when they've finished going over the soil samples."

"Oh." Reyes turned on the coffee maker and walked into the living room slowly. "So this compound - "

"Okay, this is their theory. Granted, it's still a working theory. They think this compound somehow affected the limbic system, that part of the brain that controls our emotions and stuff."

"Right."

"They think the compound hindered the communication between the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex."

"You've been talking to Scully, haven't you?"

"No, but I've been talking to Mulder, who spoke to Scully, so it's almost the same thing," replied Doggett with a smile. "In any case, because the prefrontal cortex wasn't functioning properly, we were...uh...acting irrationally. Our serotonin levels had also dropped, which explains why we were...uh...screaming at each other. Supposedly adolescents have the same problem, though to a lesser degree and with less drastic results...most of the time."

"So it's sex, drugs, rock and roll and problems with the prefrontal lobe?"

"Uh...yeah. I guess. Keep in mind, though, that it's just a working theory."

"Well, it's something, at least." Reyes stood up and was about to return to the kitchen when it clicked. "Hold on! Why did it only affect those couples and no one else in Nede?"

Doggett grinned. "I was hoping you'd ask me that. Remember how Mrs. Green said she had donated all those pies to the pie eating contest?"

"Yes."

"Well, it turns out the pie eating contest was only open to married couples. Apparently the Social Committee was inspired by this sermon the Reverend Hopper had preached about marital devotion and fidelity."

"The idea being that the couple who ate the most pies had the best marriage?" asked Reyes in disbelief. "But that's just..."

"Crazy?"

"Different," said Reyes firmly. "Actually, it sounds a lot like an X-File."

Doggett sighed. "Yes, it does sound like an X-File. And before you say it: yes, I do realize that you and Mulder were right."

Reyes smiled brightly but chose not to rub it in. She went to check on the coffee instead.

"I was actually thinking of coming to see you before I got your note," stated Doggett after listening to Reyes putter around her kitchen for a few minutes.

"Why didn't you?"

"I thought you could use some space, that you'd come back when you were ready." He studied the stuffed animal, fiddling with its little hat.

"Was that the only reason?" asked Reyes, who knew it wasn't.

"No, as I'm sure you've 'sensed' already, I chickened out."

Reyes grinned as she poured the coffee. She could relate. "At least you showed up for work," she said. "I've been hiding out here."

"That's...understandable."

"No, it was immature and selfish."

"You were hurting."

"No, I was just embarrassed and...ashamed."

Doggett stood up immediately and walked into the kitchenette. "Now you listen to me," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You've got nothing to be ashamed of. Do you understand?"

Reyes turned and looked into his solemn blue eyes. "You tried to stop it and I..."

"You what?"

Reyes looked down at the floor. "I...I seduced you," she answered quietly.

"What?" Doggett started to laugh, and Reyes looked up in surprise. "Is this how it's playing out, then? You've cast yourself in the role of Jezebel? Monica, I said I was a bit out of practice, not a beginner. If you were hoping to corrupt me, I'm afraid you missed the boat...a couple of decades ago."

"No, it's not that," said Reyes, shaking her head.

"Then what?"

"I just...I wasn't sure if you were ready and even if you were ready...I mean, you haven't been divorced that long and I'm sure you probably still have feelings - "

"No. It's over," said Doggett firmly.

"But sometimes I feel - "

"Monica, it fell apart the day we found Luke. You were there. You must have seen it." Reyes hesitated then nodded sadly. "We weren't planning to get back together, so if you think what happened in Nede somehow...We're divorced and nothing is going to change that."

"You still have feelings for her."

"All right, I still have feelings for her, yes. I'm human. I can't turn my feelings on and off no matter how much I'd like to...uh...What I mean to say is..."

Reyes broke eye contact and grabbed the cups of coffee she had poured. "Come on, we should drink this before it gets cold."

They walked back to the couch and drank their coffee in silence.

"I should be going," said Doggett when his cup was only about half empty. He rose, grabbing Dumbo from the table.

"John."

"Yes?"

"I...I need to ask you a favour."

"Sure. Anything. What is it?"

"Will you kiss me?"

Doggett gaped at her. "Huh?"

Reyes blushed. "I...uh...I have to know if I've...uh..."

"Recovered?" asked Doggett in amusement.

Reyes nodded earnestly.

"All right, then." He sat back down on the couch, cupping her face with one hand. Then he leaned in slowly and kissed her tenderly.

"I didn't feel anything," said Reyes.

"No...me neither."

"That's good."

"Yeah. Good."

"Everything's back to normal, then."

"As if nothing ever happened."

"Great."

"Yes, absolutely."

An awkward silence descended.

"Well, thanks for stopping by," said Reyes at last.

"Well, thanks for the note and...uh...Dumbo...Are you coming in tomorrow?"

"Yes, I'm coming in, John."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it. It's been a bit too quiet down there, spooky even without Spooky."

"Then I'll definitely be in tomorrow, bright and early."

"Great."

"Good night, John."

"Night, Monica. Sleep well."

"You too. Oh, and look after Dumbo."

"I will. Take care."

Doggett made it to the door and slipped out quickly. Reyes leaned back on the couch, closed her eyes, and started to cry.

**Author's Note:**

> This is set some time after "Existence" and it is my first attempt at writing a Doggett/Reyes story. I had never participated in a fanfic challenge before, so I thought I'd give it a try. However, I think this is more comedy than romance, more strange than sultry. *g*
> 
> As far as I know Nede, Pennsylvania is a fictitious town, but in case it does exist...be careful!
> 
> © 2001


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